If Only Tears Could Bring You Back
by Dueyoso
Summary: ep.45... Hilde died. Duo's thoughts on the matter. rated for swearing and the subject of death. please r&r!


If only Tears Could Bring You Back  
Disclaimer: I don't own the song other characters. They belong to their respective   
owner whoever that may be. The song is by the midnight sons. This fic totally   
disregards Endless Waltz. Duo's POV.  
  
How will I start   
Tomorrow without you here  
  
I guess it must be your time huh? I know  
You wouldn't normally have left… you   
wouldn't normally leave me all alone   
like everyone else did.  
  
Whose heart will guide me  
All the answers disappear  
  
But you left and once again I'm all alone…  
Alone to be the god of death. But now at   
Least I can't hurt anyone.  
  
Is it to late  
Are you to far gone to stay  
  
I wonder when I'll see you again… maybe never  
Because I'm sure you went to heaven. And I'm   
Probably not gonna make it there. I never did  
Deserve someone as great as you.  
  
This one's forever  
Should never have to go away  
  
I'm not mad at you. Please don't take it like that.  
I just wish you hadn't left. it wasn't your fault though.   
It was mine… I didn't get there in time to save you.  
And now you're gone from this world forever.  
  
What will I do  
You know I'm only half without you  
How will I make it through  
  
I guess I have to keep fighting. I don't know if I can  
Though. I don't have anything to fight for now.  
Not even you. I feel alone again. I am alone again.  
Nothing is the same with you gone.   
  
If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
  
I haven't stopped crying since you left. since sally  
Came out of the room crying saying it was too  
Late. But I held your hand when you left.  
  
What I would do   
What I would give if you   
Returned to me  
  
Heero had to carry me out of the room after  
I feel asleep from sheer exhaustion. My first sleep since   
the accident.  
  
Some day  
Some how  
Some way  
  
I don't think you understand how I feel. With out   
Anybody… but I guess you do with the war and all.  
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I   
shouldn't have left so much… I should have been there.  
  
If my tears could bring you back  
To me  
  
Me and the others have to go fight again soon. I don't  
Know if I can do it. But considering all I am is Shinigami   
At this point I'll go with them. I can finally just throw  
my life away. I really hope I die in this fucking battle.  
  
I've cried you an ocean   
If you'd sail on home again  
  
Where are you now? Right now? Are you looking  
Over me? I miss you already and it hasn't even been  
A day. The feeling that I know I'll never see you   
Again is killing me. I wish you could come back but   
I'm not gonna kid myself.  
  
Waves of emotion will carry you  
I know they can  
  
Did I ever even tell you that I love you? I do… more  
Than anything in the world. I'm such an idiot. I hate  
Myself too… for not saving you in time.  
  
This light will guide you  
And your heart will chart the course  
  
Everyone is so sad with out you. And in a way  
They've lost me too. I'm not my usual self. I'm   
Totally dead inside.   
  
Soon you'll be drifting   
Into the arms of your true north  
  
I hope your happy now. I hope you weren't in  
Too much pain when I was late. I hope you've   
Found whoever caused you sadness up there.  
  
Look in my eyes   
You'll see a million tears have gone by  
And still they're not dry  
  
Damn it Hilde! Why the hell did you have to go!  
I swear I'm cursed! Every one I love dies. You're no  
Different. I always prayed you would be. But you're   
Not.   
  
If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
  
I hope you know I've never cried before. Not even  
At Maxwell church. Now I'm a fucking water faucet!  
But I love you. I always will. I always have. Only you.  
  
What I would do   
What I would give if you   
Returned to me  
  
Maybe I should do something really good. Ya know  
So I can go to heaven and be with you. I'd do   
Absolutely anything for the chance. If you can't come  
Back here I'll come to you no matter what!  
  
Some day  
Some how  
Some way  
  
Do you remember when we met? I knew you'd never  
Kill me because we both fell in love at first sight. It   
Was our little secret and I thought it was hilarious  
Under the circumstances.  
  
If my tears could bring you back  
To me  
  
Damn I've used three boxes of Kleenex now… Heero's  
Gonna laugh at me one day… when he learns how that.  
Would you perhaps like a glass of my tears?   
  
I hold you close  
And shout the words  
I only wish but before  
  
You have to be here now! I could never crack a joke  
With out you! I think Quatre's gonna worship you  
For giving my humor back. He's almost as bad as   
Me right now… but you are my best friend.  
  
For one more chance  
For one last dance  
  
I do love you. I just wish I'd told you that face to face.  
I guess I did… if you heard me. I hope you did.  
Should have said it sooner though. Knowing wasn't   
Enough. I should have told you so you knew for sure.  
  
There's not a thing  
That I would not endure  
  
I've always wondered what you saw in me. I'm just an  
Assassin who uses his gundam to fight this damn war!  
Even if we were alike I've always wondered.   
  
If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
  
The only thing I'm proud of is my hair. And you of  
Course. Now I really can't cut my braid. It was   
Something you always loved and it will always  
Remind me of you.  
  
What I would do   
What I would give if you   
Returned to me  
  
You're beyond perfect though. Everything about  
You is wonderful. Your hair, your smile, your laugh,   
Everything. Damn I love you.  
  
Some day  
Some how  
Some way  
  
But despite everything you're gone. I promise to take   
care of the house and the shop. And I will take you  
back with me. Nothing can change. I'll be joining   
you soon.  
  
If my tears could bring you back  
To me  
  
And Hilde… one last thing. I just want you to know  
That I've done everything I can do for you at this  
Point and I just pray you don't hate me for what   
Happened. I do hold full responsibility and I know  
That. I have to go now. I have to fight the war  
You helped with. We'll put the data to good use but  
I don't think I'll personally be able to take a look at  
It. Please forgive me for that too. I love you forever  
And always. It's time to fight now… good bye.  
  
Duo turned off the radio and wiped the last of his tears from his eyes. He proceeded to   
the hanger where the pilots were ready to take off. Duo died in the battle that day.   
The other boys didn't take to this kindly though. Duo was one of the five gundam   
pilots after all. He made a valiant sacrifice which resulted in them winning but none of   
the boys thought it was worth losing Duo and Hilde for.   
  
"Well Duo I guess this is goodbye." Heero said flatly to Duo's grave. "I know you're   
probably happy with Hilde up there though. Baka. I have to go now. Relena is getting   
impatient with me. Damn woman. I will miss your insane chattering though. I never   
hated you for it. Just thought you should know. You probably did anyhow, but its   
better to say things. I'm not coming back here ever if I can help it so goodbye Duo.   
And you too Hilde. You really won the war for us all. I thank you both." With that   
longest speech in his life Heero boarded the plane to earth.   
  
~he deserved something…~Heero thought as the plane lifted off taking him away   
from the small colony.  
  
  



End file.
